At the same time, the elderly anyone do plan for both so you can sleep in you to definitely household to have a night. Once they notice that nothing taken place on account of worry by boy, the new old dudes, using their buddy, do plan out briefing courses to inform new boy which this new woman is so he is to don’t forget from girls and you can women. There was a familiar faith that women “bite” one of the young people, no you to definitely dares to state reverse views. For this reason belief, boys and you can girls don’t hurry towards the relationships and you can, as a result, they generally wed during the chronilogical age of 29 otherwise 35.

New boy narrates so you can his buddy all of the emails of one’s girl he’s got treasured and wish to away from no less than simply around three, comprising the students man, his buddy, and something cousin but not their mothers, visits the brand new girl’s domestic so as that these two edges learn each most other better

Further, parents and you may uncles ( eni mbumba ) (who owns the youngsters) are often wanting to have their boy otherwise girl pick an effective appropriate wedding lover. Although some of these means is diminishing, it nonetheless mode the main youth’s path to bringing ong the Chewa.

Among the Chewa , whenever a guy shows wedding so you can a beneficial girl, that isn’t noticeable that they will wed instantly. Discover a procedure that concerns uncles, aunties, mothers, chiefs, or any other influential members of the city. ” Even after being finding the man, your lover will not say “yes” on very first proposal in the man. The guy has to justify their status from time to time until the girl nods toward offer. Up until now, some men give-up considering new girl is not finding all of them.

According to Chewa polish girls for marriage community, it’s wrong toward girl to simply accept a marriage suggestion at first exposure to men. This new girl needs to decrease greeting so as that this woman is viewed given that “good,” perhaps not eager, perhaps not easy, and you will anybody guys is also struggle to possess.

Accepting the brand new proposition at the 1st experience of the guy is a great sign of fatigue regarding the girl. They indicators she’s “cheap.” Additionally, in the event the people matches back to earn new girl once an excellent decrease within the accepting a suggestion, it signals a powerful wedding. Additionally, it suggests that the person is resilient and strong sufficient. Further, they assures that regardless if it face demands in-marriage, both was sufficiently strong enough to cope with points.

At first, in the event the guy match brand new girl, the guy says, “ Chemwali ndakukondani, n’kadakonda ndithu n’takukwatirani,” meaning “Lady, I like you, and you can would love to wed you

This action is known as “kufunsira mbeta,” definition relationship suggestion . In the event that girl fundamentally allows, the person gives the girl chikole ( something physical that your lady or a guy can show someone else that she’s involved). Common points utilized while the chikole include mikanda (jewelry) , cloth female always used to link more than its heads, or other thing one thing. Providing the woman chikole demonstrates that the man are dedicated to marrying the brand new girl and prevents the fresh girl off are approached by other guys to own wedding proposals. Whenever an alternative guy approache the lady, she reveals the fresh chikole so you’re able to stop your regarding persisted his improves.

Because girl welcomes new proposal, she suggests the person to tell her cousin about it. As mentioned earlier, one of many Chewa, the buddy represents mwini mbumba (proprietor of people regarding clan). If the guy arranges to consult with the latest sibling of your girl, he doesn’t wade alone. Initially, he’s got to tell his uncle regarding the girl he’s got suggested wedding to. When they arrived at the brand new girl’s buddy, their unique brother will never be alone – he’s constantly entered from the most other nearest and dearest of your girl but maybe not their parents. And when the fresh boy’s team appear, it engage in conversations entitled malonje (introductions and you will inviting opinions).